July 30, 2011

• <生活 . 鳩o翕 – What if 版>

  系列對上一次出版, 已經是三個月前的事…

  有天看著 李小龍 : 生活的藝術家. 忽爾想 : 若李小龍沒有死去, 活到今天, 世界將會怎樣呢? 於是急急寫了一篇文章… 後來發覺寫得不好, 擱到一旁 (一如以往的三分鐘熱度); 又想想有沒有事情, 若然過程不同了, 又或者在某轉捩點上沒有某事情出現, 結局又會怎樣? 於是寫了以下一篇文章… 對, 是講佐敦的 :

  是史上最偉大的籃球員, 米高 . 佐敦.

  而更重要是, 文章是以英文寫的. 根據我經驗, 無人乜 (包括我自己) 鍾意睇人寫英文. 無論如何, 我都會貼. 等一陣子 (即肯定唔會) 再整理好李小龍那篇文章, 會貼出來. 我還會寫七至八個 “What if…” 系列, 連帶生活 .  鳩o翕 貼出來. 已定好的題目的有 :

  1. What if 李小龍沒有死去?
  2. What if 香港沒有回歸大陸?
  3. What if 沒有零三七一?
  4. What if 董建華不是第一屆特首?

  當然, 只是題目定好, 文, 是沒有開始寫的. 寫好的只有下面一篇.

  ———————

  Question : What if Michael Jordan didn’t retire in the 1.5 season in 1994 and 1995?

  My viewpoint : To me it is of little doubt that MJ is the Greatest of All Time in basketball, and within the tops among major sports in modern era (alongside Pele, Ali, Sampras/ Federer, Woods, Thorpe, Armstrong). I have once written an article on him in the “overweight” series.

  Put it simple, MJ’s success is built on a number of achievements :

  - Great all-rounded player, particularly a great scorer and defender

  - Determination to win

  - The success of turning determination into reality. 6 time Champion AND Final MVP.  We all know Allen Iverson also has similar heart (the famous quote : Play every game as if its your last is indeed from Iverson).

  - Retired as a winner. He is the only great player that retired immediately after winning champion. More importantly, he did this TWICE. And possibly because of his achievement, no one could really remember he came back for the second time in 20011 and eventually ended its career as a non-loser.

   

  Many people, myself included, have wondered what if MJ did not retire after 1993. To those who don’t know much about basketball, you should skip this column, but in case you still wanna to know, Jordan just won his third straight championship after 1993; and in principle, no one would and could argue that any team can win Bulls and Jordan in the Playoff. Then Jordan announced to retire before the starting of the season in Nov 1993, possibly because of the death of his father during the 1993 summer.

  But then in the midst of the 1995 season, Jordan came back but lost to the Orlando Magic in the Eastern Conference Semi-Final. Then the Bulls signed Dennis Rodman in the 1996 and with Jordan picking up his game sense back, the Bulls cruised to another 3 champion during 1996-1998.

  It is hard to say for sure, but without Jordan’s retirement in 1994, in terms of player movements, the following things should happen :

  (1) Horace Grant will not leave Bulls for Magic in 1995, which means Jordan is unlikely to recruit a trouble guy Rodman (who had confrontation with Pippen during the Piston years)

  (2) Ron Harper (20 ppt in Clippers era before joining bulls) would not have joined Bulls at the beginning of 1995 season.  He was the vain effort to replace MJ.

  This is very important, you all know, given that BOTH Shaq and Hardaway were still in Orlando Magic. Without Rodman, no one could effectively defend Shaq on Bulls’ roster – indeed at that time, Rodman was the only player not named Robinson and Olajuwon that can do this; Without Harper, Bulls would probably stick Jordan to Hardaway (which they did during a regular reason in 1996, and Magic won the game even when Shaq was injured.  BTW, Bulls’ record for the year 72 win-10 loss), and let Dennis Scott/ Nick Anderson to punish BJ.  In other word, there is no way that they can rotate Pippen to defend Hardaway without Harper.

  But it’s still difficult to conclude that Magic could command over the old Bulls roster (MJ + Pippen + Grant), because Magic also lacks a good Power Forward. But obviously, Shaq would dominate in the paint. With the crazy performance in the 1993 Finals, the more likely scenario is that MJ will still get the Champion in both 94 and 95, a five-peat era. What about 96? Um… I bet at least  Magic is unlikely to lose 4 straight to Bulls in 1995 season which partly led to the departure of Shaq (of course the tension with Hill and Hardaway still plays some role as well).

  The implication to the NBA roster will then be even more complex : Without a 1994 Championship, Drexler wouldn’t join Rockets in 1995; Chuck will not join later.

   
  With the maturity of Shaq and Hardaway, the absence of Rodman on Bulls’ roster, and the physical (not mental) depletion of MJ and Pippen, the Magic, not the Bulls, may be able to prevail in 1996-98 (until Hardaway blew his knee eventually). Jordan’s reputation might come to a halt in 1995. He would probably face repeatedly defeats by the dynamic duo in Orlando, struggling and disappointed like other superstars before him (just like Magic lost to him in the 91 Finals; Birds, Thomas all faced disappointments after winning champion because the expectation is very high), and eventually retired before 2000s as his knee and foot, and his partners can no longer support him. His status as the Greatest of All Time is by no way a consensus – and more importantly, he will be forgotten.
  

  In other words, were it not with the retirement, Jordan will not leave NBA with his last shot in Utah; not with his supreme defensive play on Malone, not with his repeated status as a winner upon retirement (remember that in both of his retirement, he just won the NBA champion).  The fact is that he is and will always be a winner, because of the contradictory fact that he retired in the middle of his career. 

  The debate over 時勢 and 英雄 would never end for a human being; luckily MJ is the god – he created the 時勢 and himself as the 英雄.  That’s why he is the greatest of all time.

  After watching NBA for almost 20 years, there were only two defining moments I can ever remember. I remember watching that live on ATV (no youtube, no fb, no watever you name it at that time). Honest, I didn’t quite like Jordan at that time, and stupidly hoped that Malone could win.

  But the quick layup, the steal and this shot basically ended Malone’s career. Jordan just killed Malone.

  What is the other memorable moment?  Jordan’s shot over Marion in 2003 allstar game.

  ———————–

  好了. 英文文章就此停好了.

  1. 最好的時光

  

  以前有人問過我 : 你做過最瘋狂的事情是什么?

  我沒有回答實話 : 同時有四個女朋友, 然後試過一天與她們每人做愛兩次 (不是兩下!)…

  據說索得K 多既人會有幻覺. 其實更多人唔索K 都會有幻覺.

  讀大學時, 試過下午三時便飲醉了. 當年經濟不好, $100 半打啤酒, 去卡拉OK 飲酒, 兩舊水包腳指尾都嘔埋出黎 (勿論如何做到). 而家通脹猛於虎射球, 兩舊水連開咪費都未夠… 順帶一提, 此等接龍遊戲是與舊班友經常自我創作的字句. 例子有無心戀戰沖繩島… 仲有 迅雷不及掩耳盜鈴 同埋 快過劉翔頭髮, 仲無聊既有 快到斯路完全體唔到路.

  意義, 無乜; 唔係乜春都有意義. 做人咁多意義, 好快所有有意義既野都會變成無意義. 再者, 人生根本就唔需要有冇意義.

  下午茶$98 半打. 哈哈哈, 下次同老闆講我食下午茶, 然後叫左兩支 Macallan 返黎先.

  

  2. 超越超級撒雅人

  極限是無法超越的 – 只可以提升. 正如經驗不需要加過往. 當年睇龍珠有超級撒雅人, 然後有超越超級撒雅人… 跟住有超級撒雅人3 (屌你, 連改個名都懶)… 然後超撒雅人456789至無限.

  我十六歲至中五那個暑假第一次看日本AV. 在 男人的天國 – 好景商場買的, 是當年紅到仆街既 小澤圓 (不是小澤瑪利亞), 仲有 直豎舞子 既 處女宮 (唔係星矢打十二星座個個處女宮); 至今閱歷有十五年 (多么長的日子!). 不過, 今天找一個大學生, 問問他們幾歲看日本AV, 他們大概會答你在阿媽個肚個陣已經睇緊.

  四級AV, 是人類極限. 四級, 就是四級, 沒有更高. 所以唔好問我乜野叫 超四級.

  更重要係, 佢聲稱連北韓咸片都有! 一個冇野食既地方, 居然都有人拍咸片, 食色果真性也. 仲要全部好靚好清.

  

  好一個名字 : 七記. 去了你就柒了.

  

  潮吹女王表現潮爆, 而不是潮吹. 咁佢黎做乜? 姚明表演放風箏? 紅音螢初出道好正 (大部分紅既AV 女生初出道都好正… 後生女後生個陣多數好正…), 後尾拍拍下變撚左 海浪公園 個既海豚咁… 不斷係咁噴水… 噴呀噴呀噴呀噴, 噴到好似爆水喉呀陰公. 噴足個幾鐘頭. 究竟係拍 做愛 定 噴水?

  根據呢條片, 佢話佢自己 26 歲… 我明明大學三年班已經睇緊佢 (個緊我22歲…). 算拉, 譚詠麟都係廿五o者.

  3. 一張飽歷滄桑的通告

  

  4. 責任編輯之生日

  話說責任編輯既生日, 就係民主黨出賣港人日. 無錯, 去年民主黨投票支持政府政改方案個一日, 就係責任編輯既生日. 為左唔想記起呢段慘痛回憶, 所謂民主黨出賣民主 (2012 雙普選?), 我決定唔會同佢慶祝生日.

  至於送乜野俾編輯, 梗係唐老鴨拉. 呵呵… 其實諗左好耐, 先記得佢提起過一樣佢好鍾意既野 :

  Tony Wong Patisserie

  乜野係 Patisserie? 查字典先知 Patisserie 解作法式面包店. 點讀? 屌, 除左 internationalise, 我從來唔知一個有多過 2 個s 兩個i 兩個e 既字點讀. 以前用快譯通 (係翻譯機唔係球隊呀師兄) 玩 diu lee lo mo 就識.

  佢D 餅真係好撚靚呀.

  

  5. 樞杻? 樞杻? 樞杻? 樞杻? 樞杻? 樞杻? 樞杻? 樞杻? 樞杻?

  可能我讀得書少, 才疏學淺, 真係唔知 樞紐 個紐字 應該係 “木” 字旁.

  我無問中文系既朋友. 之不過根據 google 大神既搜尋結果, 樞紐 有 6千幾萬個結果, 而 樞杻 只有 廿幾萬個.

  瓏璽成兩皮野一呎… 係咪應該搵人做下別字檢查, 唔好好似某 xanga 作者咁成日狗屎咁多錯別字呢…

   

  6. 蟠龍雙飛@紅色小巴

  

  7. 無恥也要有個限度   

  公屋入息限額是有既定制度, 每年調整. 不是你去嘈兩嘈, 示兩個威, 就會爭取到什么放寬.

  做人不能這么無恥, 無恥也要有個限度. 你不要講你爭取到溫州高鐵撞車後溫總去探傷者呀笨? 又或者爭取到美國國債上限未能提高, 好冇?

  這傢伙還似剛畢業大學生. 原來最近這仁兄最近成了區議員. 有怎樣的選民, 就有怎樣的議員. 正如為什么大陸整天也有百年一遇的災難. 三成是天災, 七成是人禍. 好些人整天在喊徹查交代負責; 這些微觀的方法只能頭痛醫頭, 腳痛醫腳 – 更何況內地根本睬你都有味. 要減少這些情況, 根本要從制度從管治入手 – 除去共產黨是唯一方法. 可惜透過自由含見識到內地同胞人格高尚, 前呼後擁, 爭先擁後, 一馬當先, 只懂打尖的行經, 真係有怎樣的人民, 就有怎樣的政府.

  正如去年五區公投, 好多人連票都唔投; 然後今年政府出黎要搞替死機制, 個d 唔投票既人竟然話政府正仆街. 就係因為你班人唔投票, 政府先可以歪曲投票率低既含意, 推出替死機制. 我不是說政府是對; 而是當你不去投票, 唔該你收聲. 因為你都是幫凶. 完.

  

  8. 唐老鴨

  我愛我的朋友. 他們送我的唐老鴨, 我每一件也記著.

  之不過中間下面個支筆, 我有五支, 而無一支係我自己買的. I love you my friends.

  至於左上那個, 是 iPhone 殼… 但我不是用 iPhone 的. 不過, 其實我一直好想買, 但一直衝唔開心理關口… 有時候, 你不肯, 或是不敢, 作一些重要的決定. 你潛意識會作出一些不合理的反應, 迫使對方作出你想要的那個決定…

  

  9. 更新 . 環節

  9.1 海報四字詞 :

  加勒比海盜 : 魔盜狂潮

  狂潮登陸

  

  ——————-

  笑話兩則

  1. 又是女友細佬的女友個男朋友, 即係我女友細佬 (仍然是非常複雜的關係). 話說佢女友 數個月前已有笑料一則, 前陣她生日, 幾個人一齊食飯, 食食下唔知講開老爸老母咁既野… 佢細佬突然問左我條問題, 我真係唔識答 :

  
  

  究竟你同你老竇老母有乜關係?
  

  嘩哈哈哈哈哈哈. 屌你老母!!!!!! 你想我點答呀? 哈哈哈哈哈. 好嚴肅咁講 : o拿, 其實我係我老頭老母個仔, 定係話 其實我唔係我親生老頭老母親生既?

  2. 友人為教師 (唔係三師會個三師). 話說莘莘學子想上大學, 大部分都經 JUPAS. 而申請表要你寫三兩百字介紹一下自己. 有冇人睇? 我敢說沒有. 一年兩萬多分, 每個學系收三兩千份, 你叫誰看? 誰會有誘因去看? 寫這些東西, 英文老師可以從旁 “協助”, 發水味濃; 公開成績考試, 明刀明槍, 明碼實價, 無得取巧. 有正常智商的人會信哪樣? 再者, 問心, 有一個文章寫得鳳舞九天, 但高考5 個E, 與一個文章平平, 但高考5個B 的, 你收誰?

  無論如何, 戇居的事還是要做 (例如上班). 話說友人替學生謄文, 有學生在 JUPAS 申請表自我介紹那一欄寫了以下的句子 :

  I am Apple Wong.

  I live in Kowloon Bay. (看罷兩句, 以為是小學生自我介紹… 點知第三句仲驚天地泣鬼神)

  I am 167.

  真係167.

  • 1:56 pm
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